Shauna News

Ships Ahoy! Part 2

2011-08-14T19:39:00.000-07:00

In my last post I mentioned that I took two trips on the water. Here is my account of my 2nd trip – sailing on my co-worker’s boat from near Gibson Island, Maryland out onto the Chesapeake Bay.

It was a long awaited trip from over two years ago. The group of us works closely together in our division to see that things run smoothly, to offer assistance to each other, to help shape our departments and grow them, to help each other solve problems and face challenges great and small. We arrived at the Potapskut Sailing Association (PSA) at 1:30pm where Marcea &Ken’s boat Sophie is moored. PSA has an interesting past that goes back to 1938.

The interesting history of the PSA from their website:
“Five Chesapeake sailors sat on a porch drinking in the calm and color of the fading day and sipping their favorite elixir of Rye and Water. Their sailboats swung listlessly on moorings in Wall Cove.

It makes little difference now which one of the five first voiced the suggestion, for it had been in the mind of each for some time...the idea of a True Sailing Association, for skippers only, was spontaneously accepted. They walked to their cars in the deepening twilight with the mutual agreement that each would discuss the formation of a "Sailing Association" with the owners of the other sailboats then moored in Wall Cove, and with a call to all those interested in a meeting as soon as possible.

On October 10, 1938, thirteen men signed the Articles of Association. Our Sailing Association was born...The name of the new Association proceeded along the usual course, with many suggestions, until we became aware that the root or derivation of the name of the river that splashed against the pile of rocks at the mouth of Rock Creek, came from an Indian word "Potapskut", meaning "at the jutting out of the white rocks".

We walked our way down the dock to the lovely sailboat. I made sure to have my seasickness patch on and an additional anti-motion sickness pill swallowed before our drive down past Baltimore towards the water. The sky was so momentously blue. It was 86 degrees – which is a minor miracle in Maryland in August – with a light wind. It just couldn’t get any better a day in August for such an adventure.

We boarded the boat and off we went sailing away to the Chesapeake Bay. The water had some minor movement, but it was more than easy to deal with. I never got sea sick once on that boat. There is a special seat at the very front (bow)of the boat sitting almost all the way over the water. It was really nice to sit there. A Titanic “king of the world” spot. Saw all of the action so to speak. It was very relaxing. We took turns riding on the seat at the bow. Then when we picked up some wind in those sails the fun really started.

When the boat leans to one side it is called listing. This occurs often if you have some wind in your sails. I set myself down on the listing side and put my legs over the edge of the boat. That’s when I started getting a little wet. It was very refreshing. Soon my co-workers were joining me. The captain of our boat decided to play a little trick on one of my co-workers. He waited until this co-worker got down and put his feet over the edge to let the boat list over even more – the implication that this had caused the boat to list more by adding his weight to that side. We laughed and laughed as the water grabbed our feet them let go in splashing waves.

I will recall it always – the water sparkling like diamonds, the white sails flying against a deep blue sky, the wind taking the edge off of the heat from the bright sun, and the cooling waves splashing me while sitting with good people who aren’t afraid to laugh like children in delight. It was a day of good fortune.

I can only be grateful for a generous co-worker and her family to share something so wonderful with us. Thanks Marcea & Ken

Ships Ahoy! Part 1

2011-08-08T19:56:00.000-07:00

In the last two weeks I have had the opportunity to go on two fun trips. The first trip was a chartered fishing trip from Tilghman Island, Maryland on the Chesapeake Bay. The second a sailing trip on a co-workers sail boat from near Gibson Island, Maryland on the Chesapeake Bay. The two trips could not have been more different if someone had planned it that way!

Our first trip started on Friday evening at Harrison’s Chesapeake House. It is an “inn” for fishermen awaiting their early morning push offs at the dock for their chartered fishing boat trips. Apparently fishermen do not require the most lavish overnight accommodations. However, this fisherwoman does and it was a challenge. I knew that the “inn” had rough accommodations, and we prepared ourselves for this, but our last trip was in October when the air conditioning was not required.

My room was hotter than the seventh level of hell. I thought that by turning the air conditioning on at the start of dinner time – 6p- on at full blast that by the time we were done eating, laughing, talking, drinking, and doing karaoke-around11p - we would have nice cool rooms. Apparently five hours was not nearly enough time to cool down my room. It was now only as hot as the third level of hell. Sweat was just pouring off of me. I tried a variation of locations on the bed in an attempt to get the most air conditioning near my skin as was possible. It was just never enough. I was concerned about possibly becoming sea sick (although I had no problems the last time) so I got a medicine patch for behind my ear but I was so sweaty it wouldn’t stick. I had to use band-aids to keep it in place. I had no original intention to shower becausethe water smells like rotten eggs, but sweating all night did not give me a choice. My shower gel did counter act the rotten egg smell, so that was good. I brushed my teeth with bottled water. I couldn’t stand the thought of that taste in my mouth.

On a real positive note - one really great thing about Harrisons is their food – their buffets. Friday evening we had a seafood buffet with snow crab, shrimp, calamari,oysters, and it included other food items like macaroni & cheese,vegetables, and prime rib. Always delicious! Their horseradish was divine on the prime rib. I also got anon-alcoholic pina colada and man was that good!! I loved it. Dessert was a tropical bread pudding. It sounds bizarre but it was additively delicious.

We woke up at 5:30 am. Anyone who really knows me understands how challenging this is for me. I cannot truly function that earl yin the morning at all. Plus add in the sweating and lack of sleep it was a miracle that I dragged myself to the restaurant for a light breakfast; just in case I was to get nauseated and (fill in the blanks)… We boarded the biggest boat at the dock. Captain Buddy is a well-known local personality and he was taking us out personally. His boat is 60 feet long and 20 feet wide. We boarded around 6:30a. Immediately we could see that this trip was going to be a bit different from the last one. On the boat was a barrel of fish. Never thought I’d see a barrel of fish- ever, anywhere. I kept thinking of the saying, “Like shooting fish in a barrel.” These were real live swimming around in the water fish. They were going to be bait. Oh man. Apparently Rock fish in August in Maryland are downing spot fish. They are on the hunt for them. So, that it what we had to use for bait. Sigh. As we made our way to our first fishing location all was well with me and any possible sea sickness. It didn’t last long. My thanks to God above and all other heavenly bodies that I had that medicine patch on, other wise I would have been chucking my guts all day long.

We got to our first fishing location. They baited our rods, we cast our lines, and the second I looked down into the churning water, my stomach almost fully rebelled. I handed off my rod immediately and sat down on one of the outside couches. I basically stayed there, unless I was braving moving around for a shot on my camera. The Chesapeake Bay was so choppy there were white capped waves – all of the men handling our trip agreed that it is rare for a day with the water so dramatic. The waves were tossing our big boat to and fro. There were much smaller boats out there and I wondered how they didn’t capsize.

We were out from 6:30a to 12:30p. In six hours combined our boat of eight people caught 17 fish. A great haul! There were other unfortunate boats with upwards of 15 people on them who only caught 4 fish. I reeled in one fish between my bouts of nausea. A couple of times I was offered a snack to help settle my stomach. I declined the food with the philosophy that I would rather be empty than emptying.

U2 360 Tour North American Tour II Great - Another Lesson Learned

2011-07-17T06:32:00.000-07:00

On November 17, 2009 I went on Ticketmaster.com and purchased my 4 allotted presale tickets due me as a paid member of U2.com. At the time, the closest U2 was going to come to Taneytown was Philadelphia, PA - a 2.5 hour drive. The planned wonderful night was July 12, 2010. I immediately purchased a night at a hotel and alerted my best friend Jamie that we were going to have another chance to enjoy the U2 360 Tour - our first time was September 30, 2009 down in Charlottesville, VA.

We got the second best seats in the stadium. U2 sells many levels of tickets. The three levels of tickets remotely in my realm of affording are Premium at about $200, Good at about $100 and nose bleed or general admission (standing on the field) at about $60. Jamie and I had the good tickets for our 2009 concert. We were surprised and saddened by the concert attendees in our section who didn't seem to enjoy the concert the way we were. We were thinking that we were in the "old people" section. We were the only people yelling, singing, jumping up and down, dancing, and generally losing ourselves in U2 and throwing ourselves into the music with abandon. At one point we saw the crowd in front of the stage just enthralled by U2 and enjoying them the way we were off in the stand in our seats. We promised that we would never miss the opportunity to be in that crowd should another opportunity present itself.

So, the opportunity presents itself and I buy 4 general admission tickets and wait for the 8 months to go by to my next chance to enjoy U2. Less than a month before the concert Bono got hurt pretty bad preparing for the Salt Lake City concert. The news was sad, Bono had severe pain with partial paralysis from a severe compression of the sciatic nerve caused by a serious tear in a ligament and a herniated disk. He had to have emergency surgery in Germany. The entire North American tour was postponed to 2011.

The postponed date was July 14, 2011. I immediately purchased new hotel reservations and dealt with the disappointment. The friends coming from out of town to enjoy the concert still came for their 2010 visit as many of our other tickets and reservations were not refundable like the hotel, the tickets to see an exhibit on Cleopatra, tour bus tickets etc...

I have been counting down the days since January 1, 2011 for the concert. I actually had a hard time finding people to attend the concert with me. Luckily some co-workers were happy to attend with me about 3 months before the concert.

We drove up to Philadelphia and enjoyed an authentic cheese steak sandwich at Jim's (an hour wait), then checked into the new hotel chain called Aloft. Very modern decor and we loved it. We relaxed for about two hours before heading off to the concert at 4:45 PM. I was seriously excited. After waiting in the long line we got into the stadium and were like 5 people/rows from the front of the outer stage. This is where the happiness of my experience fell apart.

I thought I was young enough for this situation. I thought I was a U2 super fan. I was TOTALLY WRONG. Standing from 5 PM to 12 Midnight was very painful. Being pinned in that throng of people was challenging in a feeling crushed, claustrophobic kinda of way. People were drinking beer like it was the last night that beer was available on Earth. People were smoking both legal things and illegal things (this was not a Grateful Dead Concert). People were arguing, pushing and eking their way into fights right in front of me. One guy was talking to hear himself talk about how many of the U2 360 tour concerts he's seen and it sounded kinda impossible unless he was wealthy and this was his whole life. The group to my right kept having friends come and join them as they showed up much later than the rest of us. I survived being there through the opening act - Interpol - who we could not understand and every song sounded the same. The count down to U2 started and I couldn't see the stage because the guy in front of me was over six feet tall and the guy in front of him was over six foot four.

I lost it. I turned around and started pushing my way out of there. I almost knocked one person down. I was completely freaked out and the more people I had to push my way through the more panicked I got. It was bad. I kept thinking about something going wrong and having no way to escape. I also thought about what if I have to go to bathroom?!!!? When U2 came on stage this crowd of people was going to press on each other and go crazy. I am very glad we got out of there. From the back of the crowd I could see better, dance, sing, yell, clap and just generally have room to breathe. So, I really belong in the old people section, but I act like I am on the field.

So, once in the back of the field all was well. U2 came on and I was in nirvana. They played songs that I never thought to hear in concert. I felt the music. I moved with the music. I sang the words and yelled my happiness to the world.

Here is the link to my concert...www.u2.com/tour/index/date/44/97

Of course I am looking forward to the next album and the next concert tour so that I can buy those expensive Premium tickets and enjoy the concert from beginning to end.

On the Road Again...

2009-10-11T12:21:00.000-07:00

Today we journeyed toward a lovely destination. Not a particular physical place, but a space inside. The catalyst for this journey was called Time Out for Women. My mom and I have been planning this trip since January 1, 2009.Time Out for Women (TOFW) is a tour of sorts. An inspirational tour/program sponsored by a branch of Deseret Book and affiliated with Latter-Day Saints. My mom and I attended the event in Richmond, Virginia. Richmond is generally a three and a half hour ride from our home. Here is a link to their website http://deseretbook.com/time-out/

Looking at the actual trip down, I think of a quote by Booker T. Washington. He was an American educator, orator, author and the dominant leader of the nation's African American community from the 1890s to his death. He was born into slavery and freed by the Civil War in 1865, he led the new Tuskegee Institute, then a teachers' college for blacks. He said, “Nothing ever comes to one, that is worth having, except as a result of hard work.” In a more modern interpretation I have heard the adage "Nothing worth having comes easy."Since my eleven year old little green Ford car is literally limping on its 198,000 miles and my Mom's Kia is in desperate need of new brakes we asked around to see if anyone else was heading down that way for the event. Luckily, a lovely lady from our congregation at church was in need of traveling companions and was willing to drive us in her van. Of course in strict adherence to my "Preparation" Code of Ethics the trip was planning to the last detail and yet again my plans were thwarted. I am in way too good of a mood to contribute it to the world and universe combining against me, but...sometimes I get that niggling in the back of my mind, mmmm, it could be (smile) ever since I fell in love with the X-Files I have always loved a good conspiracy, but I divert...sincerest apologies.Our well planned 3.5 hour journey lasted a patience testing 6 hours. At one point it almost took an entire hour to drive five measly miles. Just five. No exaggerating (which I admit to enjoying on an occasion or two). Again I was foiled by Washington D.C. traffic. It never fails. And yet time and again, I am surprised and somewhat annoyed.

Blessedly, my traveling companions saw the humor of our situation and took it as it came. The lovely lady who drove was ever patient in the daunting traffic. It made the trip more bearable. The magical kingdom of Leesburg did not wield any power on this trip and we escaped unscathed of such detours.Our plans included staying at a remarkable and historic hotel in downtown Richmond called the Linden Row Inn. Originally built in the 1840s, Linden Row Inn is a 70-room hotel located in the heart of historic Richmond. It has stunning period architecture, fireplaces, chandeliers, and high ceilings. It is reminiscent of a more gracious era. The rooms are filled with antiques and reproductions from the Victorian and Empire periods. We stayed in one of the Main House Rooms - #318. These rooms are located in the 7 connected row houses and feature 12' ceilings, rich jewel-toned color schemes, contemporary amenities, and access to the veranda over looking the courtyard. We found out that this hotel is the only in the city listed on the National Register of Historic Places.

After our 12 Noon departure from Taneytown, Maryland we anticipated arriving in Richmond, checking into our lovely little inn, walking to one of the local quaint eateries, then traveling the few blocks to the start of the TOFW event at 6:30 PM. Such was not the case and it is good to learn to "roll with the punches" so to speak. I-95 Southbound from Washington D.C. was simply put - a parking lot. Some people just pulled off to the side of the road to take a nap until the worst of the traffic eased up. There were accidents of all kinds most of which were the garden variety of vendor bender, but those came with police and rubberneckers. Nevertheless, our faithful and stalwart travel leader pushed on.

We arrived in Richmond just minutes before the event started. Our travel leader said, "I'm just glad we got in one piece and aren't going to miss any of the program." I am grateful for both.The Friday evening portion of the program included a lot of music. I love music. It does something inside of me. Lyrics are so critical to me. Music has great power and influence in my life. I have changed the course of my life with inspiration from two lines of one song - oddly enough a U2 song, but that is a story for another day. The words echo in me. I feast on them. I move them around in my head, peer into and through them, and follow where they lead.The opening performer is a singer and song writer who centers her music on the human condition in relation to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Her name is Hilary Weeks and she has at least six albums out now. Her music really touched a chord within me. She spent time talking about her experiences, sharing stories about her family life, and sharing her strong feelings about Jesus Christ and our Father in Heaven. Here is a link to her website http://hilaryweeks.com/

The second presenter was a professional photographer named Mark Mabry. He is as a professional photographer with his own private studio, focusing on family and commercial portraiture. Over the past few years, in conjunction with Mesa, Arizona’s annual Easter pageant “Jesus the Christ,” he created a portrait exhibit called Reflections of Christ. Work from this project has recently been published in a book, CD, and DVD titled Reflections of Christ. He shared a video about the making of the Reflections of Christ exhibit. Then he spoke quite frankly about the transition that he made from "high fashion" photographer to a more Christ centered work portfolio. He was so open and honest about the changes he had to make in himself to become worthy of the project he was undertaking. I was so impressed by the things that he shared. So few people, men especially, are not capable or willing to show such transparency into their weaknesses and foibles. Here is the link to the website about the project http://www.reflectionsmg.com/

The final performer is another singer and song writer named Michael McLean. I had seen him in concert many, many years ago - 16 - and enjoyed it immensely. He sang songs about change. He shared that he had been struggling with clinical depression for quite some time and had found the way through it and wanted to share how he had done this. Many of you know that I live with Bipolar - or more commonly called Manic-depressive disorder. I feel a connection to other people who suffer with mental illness. When you feel like the only person in the world struggling with something it is lonely and isolating. It is a fallacy that I am the only one suffering, but there are those days nonetheless. He was upbeat and frank about his struggle. It takes great care and work to get past the dark times. His recent album is entitled, "Changed." Again, his performance has a spiritual side. A lovely Twitter quote of his from his website is "The problem isn't that there's no evidence that God loves His children. The problem is we're afraid to believe it." His website is http://www.michaelmcleanmusic.com/

There is more to come from our Saturday event.

Dumb and Dumber Go to Charlottesville, VA

2009-10-04T09:49:00.000-07:00

As most of you know, my dear friend Jamie and I were pleased to have tickets to see U2 in concert in Scott Stadium at University of Virginia in Charlottesville, Virginia. This is our "travel journal". Please enjoy our comedy of errors, and so much more...

I, in my true overly orderly nature, spent time preparing a folder with many important items. All of the mapquest directions we needed to get from each place to the next. The treasured (and expensive) concert tickets to see U2 and the costly parking pass. Copies of reservation information on the car rental and the hotel. Directions and info on visiting Thomas Jefferson's home, Monticello, as we planned to visit there the day following the concert. I planned and planned and planned. I forgot the reminder that nothing goes exactly as we plan.

Jamie and I arrived at the car rental place at precisely the correct time. While there we were experiencing a "Seinfeld" like experience of obtaining a car. After extra time spent securing a car, we wiped our brows in relief and went on the road in our macaroni and cheese yellow Chevy Aveo.

All was working well, with the exception of a few "traffic moments", as this is Maryland and traffic surrounding Baltimore and Washington D.C. can leave a person astonished, even after a lifetime of exposure.

Then we came upon the magical city of Leesburg. We traveled problem free. We followed the directions given by mapquest exactly. As we thought that we were pulling away from Leesburg into a more rural area, imagine my surprise when it looked like we were arriving BACK in Leesburg precisely the way we arrived 20 minutes before! I was confused and asked Jamie to counsel me on the EXACT directions for leaving Leesburg. We soon found ourselves driving past rural sights we had encountered on our first time around. Specifically, one could hardly believe that there are TWO tall grain silos painted pink with black polka dots. As we pulled into Leesburg AGAIN, we deducted that the mapquest directions were taking us in a circle. The thought did cross our minds that Leesburg had a magical quality that once one has entered the only option was to stay, build a house, and make a new life there. We made jokes about our future generations who would pass down the story of how we arrived in Leesburg and could never leave.

We stopped at a gas station and were given directions to get out of Leesburg and further on our way to Charlottesville. There was significant traffic and construction. It seems that most cities and roads were constructing "traffic circles" which are meant to be a distraction and possible road block to the quick and efficient movement of vehicles from place to place. At this point we were at least 1.5 hours behind my intended schedule, thus causing me frustration. Jamie helped me keep the frustration down by revealing the humor behind our comedy of errors.

When we were approaching Charlottesville, the "directions" again failed us. One road turned into another without any communication. W Market Street turned into E Market Street even though we were actually heading West! The "maps" provided by mapquest included much, but not enough. We always seemed to be just out of range of where the map started. We were driving without planned decisions and making poor choices. Had we stayed on one of the various roads we turned off of in a panic we might have gotten to our hotel 45 minutes earlier. Again, we had fallen behind schedule even more. When we pulled into our hotel we were almost 2.5 hours behind the plan. We began getting ready for the concert at 6 PM. We had no dinner as we were concerned about getting to the concert on time.

We got ready in record breaking time and hit the road. We were pleased to note that the exit for the stadium was only one exit down from our hotel, but...over 50,000 people were all trying to take the same exit. It was causing considerable traffic. Our excitement and impatience were combining. Eventually we found our parking lot and began the trek to the stadium. We began to hear the music of the band Muse who were the opening act. Jamie and I decided to purchase our concert t-shirts early on. Then we purchased food and drink to make up for our dinner. With soda, pizza, and t-shirt in hand we approached the seating area. I was suddenly astounded!!!!!!!!

I want you all to know that the sounds and sights were FANTASTIC!! I was so excited, I was trembling and could barely walk down the stairs towards our seats. You can feel the music! Muse was performing when we sat down. They did a great pre-show. I am going to go on iTunes and purchase a few of them that I liked. Then the lights came up and many of the 399 U2 stage crew started getting the set ready for them.

The show started with a song from No Line on the Horizon - Breathe. No pun intended, but I was breathless!! I screamed, I clapped, I sang along, I danced my booty off! New songs, old ones, even sacred songs like Sunday Bloody Sunday. I started crying when the opening notes began to play. The remix of I'll Go Crazy was AWESOME and I HAVE to find it.

Here is the blow your mind playlist:

Breathe
Magnificent
Get on Your Boots
Mysterious Ways
I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
She's The One/Desire
Elevation
Your Blue Room
Beautiful Day
No Line on the Horizon
New Year's Day
Stuck in a Moment
Unforgettable Fire
City of Blinding Lights
Vertigo
I'll Go Crazy - Remix
Sunday Bloody Sunday
MLK
Walk On
One
Where The Streets Have No Name
Ultraviolet
With or Without You
Moment of Surrender

At the end I was deaf and mute. I couldn't hear anything and I was so hoarse from singing and yelling I didn't want to speak, but there was so much joy and adrenaline, I was walking at least 2 feet above the ground. I want to go again, but next year's shows are in Europe, the closest of which is Portugal. I'm tempted, believe me.

Recovery

2009-09-04T18:11:00.000-07:00

Reovery

Had Neck Surgery

2009-07-26T06:22:00.000-07:00

About eight weeks ago I woke up with a "stiff" neck. I thought that I had slept wrong. I thought that it would work itself out. The second week that it hurt it was spreading to the back of my left shoulder. My Dad gave me a shoulder rub and the pain did not ease at all. Then in the next week the pain spread to the deltoid muscle that connects the shoulder to the left arm.

At this point I went to the doctor. I had an MRI and it showed a herniated disk with herniation completely pinching off the cervical spinal nerves that make up the brachial plexus. Then I went to the neurosurgeon. He did some strength tests. He said I could try three things:

1. Ignore it and hope it goes away.
2. Try disk decompression.
3. Surgery to free the nerve.

I tried the disk decompression for 2 weeks. I had improvement in my range of motion, but not in pain relief or strength building. I went back to the neurosurgeon and he did some of the strength tests again. I had lost significant strength in those two weeks. There is concern that I would have permanent nerve damage. His recommendation was surgery now.

I was nervous. I had been having 'nightmares' about it. Monday night in my nightmare I coded (stopped breathing) during the surgery and woke up in the Critical Care Unit intubated (breathing tube down my throat) and not able to communicate with anyone. Tuesday night the dream was that they peformed the surgery on my hand instead of my neck.

So, Thursday 7/23 I went in for surgery on my cervical spine. In Peri-Op they prep you. Get your gown on, get the I.V. set up. I am nervous around needles (conceptually as well as physically). I pretty much have awful veins to find. My blood pressure was pretty high when they were getting ready to put in my I.V. - 156/101! They put it in my hand.

Then like three different people came and asked me the same questions over and over again.
When it was time to take me back I became super nervous. By the time they got me in the operating room and did my blood pressure it was up even higher - 178/118! The meds burned a little bit when they started them. Then I fell asleep. When I woke up I was still in the OR getting prepped for PACU Phase 1 (Post Anesthesia Care Unit). I stayed there for 2 hours coming off of the anesthesia and getting my pain medication. Then they moved me to Phase 2 where my Mom could come in and see me. They said that I was recovering very quickly and I started off to go home.

That's when the nausea hit. All the way home I was barely able to keep myself from being sick. When I got home, I could not control it. That lasted for about 4 hours. Then I calmed down and had some crackers and soda.

The next day I was able to start eating again. The pain has lessened over the last few days, but I still have it. I am trying to be up and about so that I can go back to work on Wednesday. I cannot drive a vehicle for 10 days. No riding in a vehicle for 6 days.

I'm getting tired and sore just sitting here doing this, so I am off. The minute I can get a photo of it I will. Right now there is a waterproof dressing over the incision to protect it. Luckliy, I can shower with it.

Zeus Debut

2009-05-25T13:13:00.000-07:00

We have a new addition to our little family.
His name is Zeus.
He was born on Wednesday, April 22, 2009 - Earth Day.
He weighed 3 ounces at birth.

He is a survivor.
Of the six kittens in his litter, he is the only one left.
He has a great personality.
He is a big kitty in a little kitty's body.

At five weeks he has decided to eat real food and drink water.
He is weaning himself from his momma's milk.
He likes to growl and hiss if he thinks you want his food.

He likes to attack the cats that outweigh him by 9-12 pounds.
He likes to attack feet and ankles of the humans around him.
He has started using his kitty litter - good boy!
He sleeps anywhere there is a pillow like surface to lay on.
He is adored by all who meet him.

Yuck, Yuck, Yuck - Tongue in Cheek

2009-04-06T16:43:00.000-07:00

I am going to do a tirade here.

I have bronchitis and a sinus infection.

It is kinda humiliating.

I'm leaking, need I sat anymore?

Leaking from my eyes, nose, even my mouth. I won't go any further south than that out of decency, but the list goes on.

On top of everything else now I have leprosy. The kind that attacks your lips and causes massive amounts of cold sores. I didn't even get to kiss anyone to get these sores. I was cheated! Now, no one would kiss me anyways. Sigh. As my Grandpa Ramplin would say, "You can't even win for losing."

My doctor made me laugh (which was more like the beginning of a laugh with a hacking cough and some mucus at the end). During the exam he asked about my ears if I had any problems in relation to my current illness. I told him they feel kinda full and it is hard to hear sometimes then he started moving his mouth like he was talking and purposefully there was no sound coming out. You have to love a doctor with that great a bed side manner. His name is Ed and he is a P.A. I would recommend him to anyone at any time.

I'm on a plethora of medications. The cough syrup being the best of the bunch, but even the fun of that is wearing off. I'm done taking the horse pills (super-antibiotics). I'm starting the third week. I'm supposed to go back if I don't improve. I'm feeling improved. I am a step above, "Please kill me and get it over with."

Thanks for hearing me out.
I don't update my post enough - bad Shauna.

Not My Last Day

2009-02-14T17:56:00.000-08:00

I had a very important event scheduled at work on Friday, February 13th. An event we have worked on for months. I was excited to see our hard work come to fruition. I went to the salon Thursday night and had my hair cut and colored. I bought new clothes. I was going to look good. I set my alarm clock for the unholy hour of 5:15 AM- two hours ealier than any other day of the year. I had even scheduled a massage for that evening because I knew I was going to up and on my feet all day. A treat for work well done.

I woke up and played "alarm clock tag" for about 15-20 minutes, then dragged my rear end into the shower. Got out, put on my robe, put cream on my face, then dried and styled my hair. As I sat on the toilet (on the lid -not 'using it') brushing my hair when I heard the front door open. My first thought was that my Dad had gotten 30 miles on his way to work, had forgotten something, and had to drive home again to get it. I knew this was going to make him seriously late for work and my Dad is a super punctual person. He was going to be way ticked off at the way his day had started. However, when my Dad comes in the front door you can hear and feel the vibrations from his heavy footfalls, more like stomping. Then when he "closes" the front door it is really more a huge slam. I heard the door open but no stomping. I heard the front door close but no slam.

I knew I was not alone in my house.

I froze. Fear and terror froze me. Then something zinged through my mind. An article in Newsweek magazine that I just read on Wednesday this week was entitled, "What It Takes To Survive." The main quote was, "The blunt reality of survival is this: too many people perish when they shouldn't. They morph into marble instead of taking decisive action. The key is to recover quickly from brain lock or analysis paralysis, shake off the shock and figure out what to do." So, often those who froze died and those who did something - anything- survived. I took a second and asked myself, "What could I do to survive this?"

I assessed the small bathroom that I was currently in. As slowly and quietly as I thought I could, I reached over and turned the lock on the bathroom door handle. I was even trying to breath as quietly as possible and listen to the house creak and groan with someone's footfalls.

I examined my situation again. What if they meant me harm? Not just a thief, but something worse? What if they knew I was home alone? Intended that I be here alone? This is every woman's most dreaded nightmare. There is an interesting caveate to the events here. On this day I was awake and alert at a time when I would normally be asleep and I sleep like the dead. I would have been completely vulnerable and unaware.

After Elizabeth Smart (the Utah girl taken from her parents home - from her own bed) I vowed no one would ever get me out of my house. In my new circumstance, I vowed no one would get me out of my bathroom. I quickly, but quietly, pushed all of the bath towels onto the floor against the bottom crack in the door both to prevent my motion or sound from being detected and as another obstacle if the door is forced.

Then I heard the first step creak. I slid off of the toilet to the floor. Another step and then another up the stairs that person came. I sat with my back to the door, bent my legs, and planted my feet on the cabinets to the sink in front of me. If they wanted me I was not going to I was not going to go without a fight. Don't get me wrong, I was beside myself terrorized. I heard the footsteps in the upstairs hallway. Fear was immense and sitting in my stomach. I listened so quietly. In what feels like three lifetimes the steps stopped at the bathroom door. The door knob started to turn. I tightened all my muscles. I braced myself. The door wasn't forced further and the steps went down the hall away from the door, but not down the stairs.

I didn't realize it yet, but tears streamed down my face. Silent crying. The worst kind. Then something unexpected happened. The upstairs heat turned on. It was a curse in disguise. Yes, heat in the winter is good, but our heater is so loud in the tiny bathroom that it sounds like an airplane is landing. It covered any other sounds. I didn't know what else was going on outside the bathroom.

I stayed firmly in place. I have no idea how long I stayed in that position in front of the door. It felt like years. I stayed in the bathroom a long time. Hours. I know that sounds silly, but I did not want to open that door for anything but a familiar voice. I felt it all the way to my bones that the locked door kept me safe. I didn't want to be the cliche idiot who opens the door and gets hurt because they thought the coast was clear. In those few hours I did learn some things about myself though. At several points in my experience I contemplated that this was possibly my last day. I didn't want it to be my last day.

I have several friends and family who are less interested in beliefs in God. So, I decided to share the remainder of my story on my blog that is more a spiritual blog rather than just a "journaling" blog. To read about the rest of my story please go to my other blog: http://sacredmatterstome.blogspot.com/

Excellent Trip to Ocean City, MD

2008-10-02T15:44:00.000-07:00

We had planned to go to Ocean City, Maryland (as opposed to the city of the same name in New Jersey) the weekend that my grandmother passed away. Luckily, the hotel worked with us and we were able to reschedule our trip to the weekend of September 26th. Unluckily September is Atlantic hurricane season and a storm was gathering out in the ocean slated to hit the East coast of Maryland the first evening we arrived. Tropical Storm Kyle - the 11th of such storms to hit thus far this season - was expected to cause winds as bad as 60 mph and severe rain.

Wednesday night as we packed and prepped for our Thursday afternoon departure, we talked about what activities we could enjoy indoors. We went to the library and checked out lots of books and magazines, and packed some pants and long sleeve shirts, and put the umbrella and coats in the car. We were ready! Basically, resigned to a fate of a weekend in the hotel. I made the comment that I would rather be bored in Ocean City (OC) than not bored in Taneytown.

As we made the 3.5 hour drive to Ocean City, the weather was overcast and a little drizzle here and there. When we got about 5 miles away we made a snack run at the local Wal-Mart. Dad also had to pick up some pants and shirts as he left his at home :-) When we got out of the car THE WIND HIT! The kind of wind you had to LEAN into to stay upright! We made our way to Ocean City in the wild wind.

We wanted to see what the ocean looked like under such extreme circumstances. It was unfeakingbelievable. The wind was whipping the sound with such force. The waves crashing against the beach were as loud as thunder. We have never seen or heard the like before. It was amazing and awe inspiring. It is a constant reminder that nature should always be respected as humans can do little to change it. It should keep us humble.

We checked in at the hotel, went out for dinner, and then went back to our room to relax the evening away. When we woke in the morning, there was a little bit of gray skies, but the temperature was significantly warmer than we expected. We all wore pants and long sleeve shirts to breakfast. We enjoyed a fantastic breakfast at Layton's Family Restaurant a staple in OC for many a decade. When we left Layton's and were walking along the boardwalk we were simply sweating in our overprotective garb. We agreed that the weather was conducive to a stint in bathing suits, sitting beside the crashing waves. And crash those waves did.

The undertow was significant. I had never felt such a stronf one as I waded into the water cautiously. Like I said, respect. I love the water and respect its power. I did not go any further in than about my knees. One wave and the undertow would sink my feet competely in sand. Plus, it was also extremely COLD. But we did enjoy the warmer than expected weather, the unexpected sun peeking through the clouds, the sights and sounds of the waves crashing along the shore, and the quiet. We were pleasantly and happily surprised by the way the weekend was turning out.

We spent time later in the weekend visiting Assateague Island National Seashore. It is located close to Ocean City and contains miles of pristine beach. More than 300 wild ponies wander the beaches, inland pine forest, and salt marshes. We were able to see several different ponies on our visit including a youngster with his mom and dad.

It was a lovely and surprisingly fun weekend. Not boring at all. Click here to find the photos from our trip http://picasaweb.google.com/shauna.bere/OceanWeekend2008?feat=directlink

Grandma Bere Passed Away

2008-09-06T09:14:00.000-07:00

Mom, Dad, and I were enjoying our annual ward (congregation) picnic on Labor Day this past Monday when my Dad got a phone call from my Grandpa Bere. He said that my Grandma Bere had fallen down and gotten hurt. We gathered everything up and rushed to Northwest Hospital in Randallstown, Maryland - about an hour drive from our house.

When we got there we met my Grandpa and he said that she had broken her ankle. My Dad and I went into her room to visit with her. The nurse explained that she had broken her ankle in two places and would need orthopaedic surgery to repair it. As the various general ER tests started coming back the emergency room nurses and doctors became increasingly concerned and freaked out about her oxygen levels and blood pressure. I was confused by this. She was diagnosed over two years ago with advanced stage COPD Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease. It is a lung disease in which the lungs are damaged, making it hard to breathe. In COPD, the airways—the tubes that carry air in and out of your lungs—are partly obstructed, making it difficult to get air in and out. Cigarette smoking is the most common cause of COPD. Most people with COPD are smokers or former smokers. My Grandmother Bere smoked 3 packs of cigarettes a day for over 50 years and up until the minute she broke her ankle. She refused to use her oxygen and nebulizer machines and the accompanying medications.

Later we found out that when she came into the ER and they had asked her if she had any other conditions she responded, "No, everything else is just fine." When the panic set in the nurse moved her to an ER room equipped for someone with her unique health concerns. Very quickly her other health concerns started to become the major problems. She became increasingly agitated and lost understanding of what was going on and why. Her blood pressure dropped to 60/40 which is deathly low. They were concerned that she had a blood clot and rushed her for an emergency CAT scan. While in radiology she coded - stopped breathing. At that point they bagged and intubated her. She was now on life support to keep her alive.

They moved her to the Intensive Care Unit. They felt very strongly that she would not pull through this. Each afternoon we would all go to visit her. At the 72 hour mark it is recommended that it be decided if the patient will be removed from life support or have a tracheotomy put in. My Grandma Bere did not have any type of advanced directives, living will, or power of attorney. We were having to make decisions without knowing exactly what she would want done. This is an emotionally grueling thing to do. A horrible burden to leave for your family. I suggest that anyone reading this take the time to make these arrangements regardless of your age! It was so painful to make these life or death decisions without knowing exactly what she would have wanted. Grandpa felt very strongly that she would not want to be living off of tubes and machines.

Grandpa asked that she be removed the life support on Thursday afternoon. We all gathered at the hospital. The nurses and doctors were so absolutely certain that she would pass away immediately. I will try to explain how bad her situation was. She was getting 75% of her oxygen from the machines. Technically, they do not attempt to wean patients off of a machine until that number is at 50 or less. We waited for them to remove the life support (a somewhat gruesome procedure) then they came and got us. A very uncommon thing happened. Actually, an unprecedented thing occurred. In less than 8 minutes from extubation Grandma Bere was smiling, laughing, and talking to us. She was happy and even chatty. She had a significant presence of mind. We do not think that she understood that she was dying and Dad and Grandpa were reluctant to ruin such nice moments with such sorrowful news. We spent about 90 minutes with her in this happy state. The nursing staff recommended that we all go get some rest as the week had been grueling and sapped our strength.

Friday we went back to the hospital and she was in the condition that everyone had expected the previous night. That span of time the night before was a special gift that no one can possibly have expected and we were very lucky to have had it. The staff at the hospital called us and asked that we come in to sign paperwork to move her from ICU to the Hospice. We went in and we stayed all day. Later in the afternoon my Mom had to leave for an appointment, Dad had gone to work, and Grandpa was home resting. I stayed with Grandma. I spoke to her. I told her how much I appreciate her son and the joy he has brought into my life. The way he has taken care of our family. That he is a strong and honorable man. I promised I would help Mom take care of him. I let her know that it was okay to relax and let go. That everything would be okay.

Around 5 PM I had the distinct feeling that my father and grandfather needed to get to the hospital. So, I called and left a voice mail for him on his cell phone. Apparently while I was leaving the voice mail he was on the phone with my Mom telling her that he had the strongest feeling that he needed to leave work and come to the hospital. When he hung up with my Mom he got my message. Dad went to pick up Grandpa. The social worker came into the room and told me that grandma was doing very badly. They were going to move Grandma, but they are so concerned that she would pass away when they moved her they decided to wait until Dad and Grandpa arrived.

They moved her and we all gathered in her new room. We waited several hours together. Grandpa got very tired. Dad went and drove Grandpa home. My Mom and I sat with Grandma. When Dad came back he told Mom and I that we needed to go home. That grandma was waiting for it to be just the two of them together like it always was. Sure enough, Mom and I left and less than 90 minutes later at 11:23 PM she passed away.

Dad and Grandpa are going to go on Sunday to make the arrangements at the funeral home. She will be buried at St. John's Cemetery in Ellicott City, Maryland. We knew with all of her health issues that she would get sick, but we did not expect it so soon and for it to happen so suddenly.

Working Summer and Our Story

2008-08-30T08:40:00.000-07:00

My apologies for not updating the blog recently. I wanted everyone to see the entry on Ireland. I have spent the majority of the Summer working both of my jobs at the hospital. I have my full-time job as the administrative assistant to the newly promoted Assistant Vice President of Support Services, Robert White.

On some evenings and Saturdays I am a patient care observer in the Emergency Room Psychiatric area. There are four rooms in the Emergency Department designed for people who come in with the express reason of mental illness, alcohol and drug abuse. These patients are a high risk population for hurting themselves and possibly others. For this reason, these designated rooms have video cameras in them. My job is to observe the patients and write down in their medical records what they are doing every 15 minutes and to alert the nurses and doctors of any issues that these patients may be having as the nurses and doctors are not able to be in all rooms at all times. Often times there are many interesting happenings. At the hospital behavioral issues are called "Code Green". I have a panic button for when patients become seriously problematic. When a patient's alcohol level is .53 (when the legal limit is .08) they do not always behave nicely. I looked up alcohol levels and anything over .40 can result in death. I have only had to push the button twice, and it was on the same guy. Our psych patients are usually females and our drug and alcohol patients male. So, just working the Summer away.

Recently, I have found several friends from my time out West that I have not been in contact with for years. The way that I have found them is through a site called Facebook. Many of my newly found friends have asked me about how I met Paul and we ended up engaged.

So, here is our story...

I spent some time on a website called LDSPals.com meeting other Latter-Day Saint singles. One day I found the profile of a man named Paul who was Irish and a professional photographer. Both intrigued me. One, because I am of Irish ancestry and my family is quite proud of it. Two, because I have a degree in Photography and love it. We shared email through the website for a few months, then exchanged personal email addresses. After almost a year of basic emails back and forth, I took the chance and in a quite pushy manner asked Paul more personal questions. Although a bit uncomfortable, Paul answered and I felt like we had gotten to another level in our communication. We started to exchange letters and gifts via the mail (or post as they say in Ireland). He sent me the loveliest gold earrings for Christmas. No man outside of my family had ever purchased something so lovely for me. It made me feel quite special.

We decided to speak to one another on the phone on New Year's Eve. Paul gave me his phone number and I agreed to be the one to call him. I attempted to call seven times. I always got a busy signal. I called the international operator five times and got the same results, "The lines are quite busy, call back another time." I frantically sent an email to Paul explaining what was wrong. I cried my eyes out I felt so bad thinking of him waiting beside the phone wondering if I had mislead him. My heart still hurts to think about it. After many attempts on my part to reach him, he decided to call me on January 1st. He called me and we talked for hours. It was amazing. I had a hard time understanding everything he was saying, but his accent was so attractive! I loved just listening to it.

We found out the myriads of things that we had in common. Our love of our faith. We both made a similar commitment to our religion by serving missions, a very important facet for me. Something that I felt strongly - no couple can be truly yoked without that same level of commitment to religion and faith. A person cannot serve an honorable mission without being forever changed for the good. I wanted, even needed, someone who would understand what I went through, how it affected me, and who would glory in the experience with me. It was the best thing I ever did in my life. I wanted someone who knew that and felt the same way about their experience. We share our love of our missions. We shared the same 'lost' feeling after returning home to 'real' life.

We share other things as well. A love of movies, music, literature, and art/art history. We are movie super-freaks. He loves different facets of movies than I do, but we can talk for hours about them too. He is easy with enjoying movies too. We are not cruel, demanding critics. We don't attend movies to change our lives, we attend for entertainment. I like the visual aspects, the language, the humor, the music. Paul loves the visual aspects too, but focuses on the technical pieces, the history of the movie maker, his talents. We both love the musical group U2. We agree completely that they are one of the best in the world hands down. Paul's knowledge of art and art history impresses and humbles me. I never thought I would find a man who knew and appreciated art in the way that I did. He could stand in an art gallery for hours. I never thought I would find someone who understood why a person would stop and take photos at the oddest moments.

I had never had a serious love relationship before and was terrified of relationships in general. We were speaking to each other upwards of 20-30 hours per week. Thus began a courtship by phone. I think that I may have never ventured into a relationship without this type of stage to become comfortable. My feelings were becoming quite strong. To my relief Paul expressed that he had similar feelings. By March we agreed that we needed to meet one another in person to see if there was any chemistry. You can talk to someone until you are blue in the face, but if you are not attracted to each other anything else would fizzle out. We made the arrangements for him to come to America so we could meet each other and find out.

Paul was worried about our age difference. He is 13 years older than I am. I told him that it didn't matter one whit to me. I told him that men are five years less mature than their age and women are five years more mature than their age, so we really had only three years age difference. I didn't want someone younger. I wanted someone exactly like Paul.

On May 18th I went to the airport to pick him up. I was so nervous I wanted to vomit. I was terrified to my bones. That I would be a disappointment or an ugly ogre that repulsed him. It obviously didn't turn out that way. He came through the security gate and I knew him immediately. We walked towards each other and just held one another. I didn't want to let him go. A cheesy saying, but true, it felt like I was home when I was in his arms. I never felt that way before.

His trip was slated to last three weeks. I took him everywhere. Baltimore, Washington D.C., New York City, Gettysburg, and Ocean City, MD. During our trip to the beach, I was not careful and did not notice when he did not put any sunblock on his legs. He got burned worse than anyone I had ever seen. Second degree burns, sun poisoning, and huge welts full of liquid. I had to take him to the hospital emergency room. He was not able to walk, so his trip was extended another two weeks. As he healed we had more time to spend together, reading, watching TV, and just hanging out together. At the end of the two weeks and it came time for him to leave we were both in tears and really freaked out. We extended his trip one more month. We were able to spend time going to more exciting locales. We enjoyed the King Tut exhibit on an all day jaunt to Philadelphia. Our relationship became more serious as the days passed. We went and bought an engagement ring of Emerald and diamonds. I chose Emerald because Ireland is the Emerald Isle and I wanted something that really represented both of us. On July 1st we went to the Baltimore Inner Harbor. Sitting on a wooden bench where the lights were sparkling on the water he asked me to marry him. It was quite magical. Here is a photo he took right after he asked me.

Paul's three week trip turned into a three month trip. It was amazing.

So, that is the beginning of our story.

The Emerald Isle: All I dreamed of

2008-05-03T13:00:00.000-07:00

This week I returned from my amazing visit to Ireland. I saw so many things, met my future in-laws, and spent valuable time with my fiancé Paul.

In light of my recent plane sickness episodes I met with my physician and he prescribed a motion sickness patch for behind my ear. It worked magically and I was especially grateful during the bumpy ride on a tin can with wings from Washington D.C. to Newark. The plane ride from Newark to Belfast, Northern Ireland was on a big comfy plane and turned out just fine. I took my evening medicines and drifted off to la-la land for the majority of the ride. It was lovely to come off of the plane, collect my luggage, and walk into my honey's arms. Sappy to say, I know, but absolutely true. We had been apart for exactly 8 months to the day!

Paul drove me to his sister's home in Coleraine and I crashed for several hours. Paul's sister Patricia was my hostess in Northern Ireland. I stayed in the guestroom at her lovely home. We went to the grocery store Tescos for snacks and food. While in Tescos I found a brand of cookies (they call them biscuits) called Maryland cookies. I never thought to go to Northern Ireland to find Maryland cookies. I even brought them back with me for everyone to try. Yep, they tasted like regular chocolate chip cookies.

That afternoon and evening Paul took me to Port Stewart Strand to enjoy the Irish wind and a dramatic sunset. There were many other photographers there taking advantage of this natural work of art. Port Stewart Strand is a sandy beach in Port Stewart, Northern Ireland and is situated on the northern coast of the island of Ireland. It consists of two miles of magnificent sandy beach facing the Atlantic Ocean. It was quite windy and chilly, but it was wonderful to be there with Paul.

Sunday morning we attended church at Paul's ward (congregation) of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Everyone was so kind and I enjoyed my time with them. It is one of our most important commonalities - our shared religion. And it is reassuring and amazing to note that the things that we did and learned every Sunday in Westminster, Maryland USA were happening in exactly the same in Colraine, Northern Ireland. We relaxed most of the rest of the day Sunday.

Paul took me to a park and gardens with the Phoenix Peace Fountain. It is a gift from the communities of the United States to the communities of Northern Ireland. The public display of The Phoenix Peace Fountain is a lasting reminder to the people of Northern Ireland of America's support in the Northern Ireland peace process. Metal from thousands of American firearms that had been court-ordered for meltdown was used in the recreation of the monument. This international gift from the communities of the United States to the 26 communities of Northern Ireland is permanently displayed in Coleraine that were a gift to Northern Ireland from the United Stated of America in honor of the peace accord ending what Irish call "The Troubles". The Troubles consisted of about thirty years of recurring acts of intense violence between elements of Northern Ireland's Nationalist community (principally Roman Catholic) and Unionist community (principally Protestant). The conflict was caused by the disputed status of Northern Ireland within the United Kingdom and the domination of the minority Nationalist community, and discrimination against them, by the Unionist majority. The United States and President Bill Clinton played a roll in the peace process that my fiancé Paul has stated made a difference. An excellent article that I found is at http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/northern_ireland/1065913.stm .

Monday we made our way to 'Southern Ireland'. Patricia's boyfriend Davie obtained a holiday home for us to enjoy for the week in the quaint town of Gweedore. The home was in a wonderful location practically on the coast. Gweedore (official name: Gaoth Dobhair) is an Irish-speaking district located on the Atlantic coast of County Donegal, Ireland. Gweedore is also the home of the northwest regional studios of the Irish language radio service Raidió na Gaeltachta, and it is officially the largest Irish-speaking parish in Ireland with a population of around 4,065. It sits in the shade of Donegal's tallest peak Mount Errigal.

Gweedore is renowned for its distinct physical features. Probably the most recognizable is Errigal, the tallest mountain in County Donegal, which overshadows the picturesque Dunlewey Lough. It is surrounded by the deep glens and misty lakes of the Poisoned Glen, and further on, Glenveagh national park and castle, the largest national park in Ireland. Another landmark is 'Bád Eddie' (Eddie's Boat), a shipwreck which has been situated on Magherclogher beach since the early 70s where it had run ashore due to rough seas. The Gweedore coastline consists of long sandy beaches and rugged cliffs. Also, off the Gweedore coastlines are many beautiful islands. There are a series of spectacular mountains, glens and bogs combined with the bracing weather to keep this part of the world relatively secluded.

As the photographs will illustrate - Paul and I enjoyed seeing all of this! It was a busy week! Each day we ventured out to see something magical. All of the things that my imagination had sewn together to create an idea of Ireland. Reading the street signs and hearing people speak in the Gaelic tongue (which the inhabitants of Ireland call the Irish language) was enlightening. At one point we thought we were a little lost and Paul in a panic asked what the next sign said. I replied,
"Uhhh, bla-bla-gul-gul? I have no clue - it is all in Irish!"

We toured the nooks and crannies of the Bloody Foreland. It gets its name from the reddish tinge which the rocky coast takes on at sunset. The sea is then bathed in the same hue, and Tory Island, lying a few miles offshore, becomes a glowing dream island in the dusk. We happened upon Magheroarty (or Machaire Rabhartaigh) a village with a small port for fishing vessels and the Tory island ferry operates from the local pier. I took several photos of the clean blue waters. We also found Bunbeg (or An Bun Beag which means The Small River Mouth). It has a small port with one of Ireland's newest coast guard stations.

Every night we visited Teac Jack pub, restaurant, and hotel just down the street from our little holiday bungalow for our evening meal. They have a special called "Roast of the Day" which is characterized as traditional dishes. It included one of the home cooked meats like roast beef, chicken, or ham accompanied by some of the loveliest potatoes and vegetables the Irish can make. It was a generous amount of food for a very reasonable price. We had the same waitress each evening. The Northern Irish refer to excellent food as 'gorgeous'. Amazingly they have a website - http://www.teacjack.com. After dinner would go back to our place and watch DVDs. It is another of those important things that we have in common - a distinct love of the movies.

On our last sunny afternoon on Donegal's coast we were heading south and passed an intriguing sign for Leo's Tavern (or Tábhairne Leo) . This tavern is owned by Leo Brennan, the patriarch of Ireland's most successful musical family. The band Clannad was formed in 1972, and has since gone on to sell over 15 million records. Also there is the musician Enya, Enya Brennan (or Eithne Ní Bhraonáin). Enya first appeared on stage in Amharclann Ghaoth Dobhair as a member of Clannad, before going on to become one of the world's biggest-selling artists, with sales exceeding 70 million. To learn more and hear some of this great Irish music check out these two websites - http://www.clannad.ie/ and http://www.enya.com/ .

The drive back to Northern Ireland took us through the city of Letterkenny where Paul and I did some shopping using the last of our Euros. Letterkenny (Irish: Leitir Ceanainn) is the largest town in County Donegal. It has been said that the town's Main Street is one of the longest in Ireland. It takes its name from the Irish "Leitirceanainn" – meaning the "Hillside of the O'Cannons". Once back in Northern Ireland we rested for the remainder of the day.

My last day of sight-seeing was around the Coleraine area including a visit to Dunluce Castle and the Giant's Causeway. These two sights are just minutes from Paul's home. Dunluce Castle is one of the most extensive ruins of a medieval castle in Northern Ireland. It is located on the edge of basalt outcropping in County Antrim, Northern Ireland and is accessible via a bridge connecting it to the mainland. The castle is dramatically surrounded by terrifyingly steep drops on either side. It is in the townland of Dunluce, in the Coleraine Borough Council area. At one point, part of the kitchen next to the cliff face collapsed into the sea, after which the wife of the owner refused to live in the castle any longer. According to a legend, when the kitchen fell into the sea only a kitchen boy survived as he was sitting in the corner of the kitchen which did not collapse. Dunluce Castle served as the seat for the Earl of Antrim until the impoverishment of the MacDonnells in 1690, following the Battle of the Boyne. Since that time, the castle has deteriorated and parts were scavenged to serve as materials for nearby buildings.

After visiting Dunluce we went to the town of Bushmills for traditional Fish & Chips. One of the most interesting things about the variances between the U.S. and Ireland is the use of the English language. In Ireland 'chips' are a variation of french fries that Marylanders refer to often as steak fries. Not the long skinny kind, but the larger softer version. In Ireland crisps are the American equivalent of Potato Chips - they love Pringles. The town of Bushmills is known world over for its famous Irish whiskey distillery. After our dinner we made our way to the Giant's Causeway.

The Giant's Causeway (or Irish: Clochán na bhFómharach) is an area of about 40,000 interlocking basalt columns, the result of an ancient volcanic eruption. It is located on the northeast coast of Northern Ireland, about two miles north of the town of Bushmills. In a 2005 poll the Giant's Causeway was named as the fourth greatest natural wonder in the United Kingdom. The tops of the columns form stepping stones that lead from the cliff foot and disappear under the sea. Most of the columns are hexagonal, although there are also some with four, five, seven and eight sides. The tallest are about 36 ft high, and the solidified lava in the cliffs is 92 ft thick in places. It is the most popular tourist attraction in Northern Ireland.

When the news of the "discovery" of an amazing natural phenomenon broke on an unsuspecting world in 1693 it was by the presentation of a paper to the Royal Society from Sir Richard Bulkeley, a fellow of Trinity College, Dublin. The news caused quite a stir in 'the polite society' of the time and in 1697 a draughtsman was sent to make drawings of the Natural Curiosity on the North East tip of the island of Ireland.

What seems remarkable to us now, in the 21st century, is that there was much argument as to whether the Causeway had been created by men with picks and chisels, by nature, or by the efforts of a giant. In the 17th century nothing like it had been seen before. It was not until 1771 it was announced the origin of the causeway to be the result of volcanic action.

The dramatic cliff like edge of the plateau forms the Causeway coastline. The larger fissures, through which the lava flowed, can be clearly seen as bands of dark rock which cut down the cliff faces and jut out to sea. It is the middle basalts rocks which forms the columns of the Giants Causeway. The rapidly cooling lava contracted and variations in the cooling rate resulted in the world famous columnar structure. The columns are mainly hexagonal though there are some with up to eight sides. Weathering of the top of the lower basalts formed the Inter Basaltic Bed - the band of reddish rock which is a feature of the area.

The legend (as there always is in magical places) says that in Ireland, lived a gentle giant called Finn MacCool. At fifty two feet six inches, he was a relatively small giant, but across the sea in Scotland there was a rival giant called Benandonner. The two Giants hollered across the sea of Moyle, each demanding a trial of strength. This was agreed, and hospitable Finn offered to make the contest possible by building a rocky causeway between the two countries. Finn built a path across the sea from County Antrim to Benandonner's lair - Fingal's cave on the island of Staffa, but the work was so laborious that Finn fell asleep with exhaustion. Oonagh was Finn's wife, a giantess, she woke up early the next morning to find Finn sound asleep. Then she heard the sound of thunderous footsteps and saw the mighty Benandonner approaching. He was truly gigantic. Finn would be no match against this Scottish giant. Quick thinking Oonagh covered the sleeping Finn with a nightgown and bonnet. "Where's Finn?" bellowed Benandonner, "Where is the coward hiding?" He peered at the sleeping Finn. "Be quiet," Oonagh warned Benandonner, "or you'll waken the bairn!" Benandonner panicked. If the child was this big, how much bigger might Finn be? He did not stay to find out. He hastily retreated across the causeway, destroying it in his wake The "causeway" legend corresponds with geological history inasmuch as there are similar basalt formations (a part of the same ancient lava flow) at the site of Fingal's Cave on the isle of Staffa in Scotland.

We stayed for hours and watched the sun set there. To access the causeway one has to walk a ways down the cliff side. What goes down, must come up and the pain of the visit was making it back to the car. Towards the end Paul was practically dragging me up the cliff side, but it was worth the trip. We stopped back in Port Stewart to enjoy one of the famous local food places - the famous Morelli's ice-cream parlor. We enjoyed triple scoop waffle cones of true creamy, delicious, Italian ice cream.

We went to church again and then I spent the day getting to know his family. I had dinner with Paul's family and we sat and talked for hours. His family is wonderful and I got along with them wonderfully. In the end I took almost 500 photographs with both my Mom's digital and my own film cameras.

It was a teary good-bye at Belfast airport. I was trussed by security twice and then they accidentally put me in First Class. I never dreamed that the 'other half' flies in such luxury. A five course meal, a generous leather seat that practically turns into a bed with a real pillow and blankets, and a personal television screen with gratis movies, tv shows, music, and games. It was a nice way to end the trip.

My 2 web albums are at: http://picasaweb.google.com/shauna.bere/Ireland2008Trip and http://picasaweb.google.com/shauna.bere/UniquePhotosIreland2008

Countdown to Ireland

2008-04-04T15:44:00.000-07:00

I am very excited that I am in the countdown to Ireland. Two weeks from today -come hell or high water as my grandmother used to say- I am going to Northern Ireland for ten days. I leave Friday, April 18, 2008 at 5 PM. Then I have a 3 hour lay-over in New York. I arrive in Belfast Saturday, April 19, 2008 at 9 AM. Both Paul and I are very excited to see one another. We have not seen one another in eight long months. A stressful eight months as he was so terribly sick that he almost died. He is still trying to adapt after being sick for so very long, but he is doing well considering everything.

I have left the plans of what is best to see up to Paul and surprise. I know that he is going to take me to see the Giant's Causeway. Paul lives on the northeast coast of Ireland. There are several lovely beaches he is excited to show to me. Not beaches where one would relax in the warm, blue water, but beaches to walk along holding hands, trying not to get your feet wet because it is so cold. It looks lovely in the photos that I have seen though. Excellent photo ops.

I will most certainly return and report my varied travels and experiences. I hope maybe to send out a blog from my trip too. I have included a preview photo here of Dunluce Castle in Northern Ireland so that everyone can be sufficiently envious.

Paul Home From Hospital

2008-01-06T11:29:00.000-08:00

Paul returned home from the hospital unexpectedly yesterday!!

When I made my planned call to him expecting that he would still be in the hospital - he excitedly told me that he had just arrived home!! After the images from his MRI came back the doctor reported to him that his most worrisome and frightening condition had cleared up and that "some things just can't be explained." That condition could have affected the rest of our lives permanently. It would have adversely affected his quality of life. After the results of the MRI came back they removed some of the tubing and his body began working on its own. The relief of this is almost unexplainable. This illness and helping Paul cope with it was weighing on me heavily. He was completely overwhelmed. In shock almost.

He sounded like a man who got his new lease on life. He was so excited I could feel it through the phone line!

We believe in miracles. We believe in the ability to bring on healing by Priesthood blessing if that outcome is the will of God. We believe in answers to prayers. This serves to strengthen our beliefs. We offer a debt of gratitude to anyone who offered a prayer on his behalf. Thank you for that selfless service. We will remember you in our prayers with gratitude and ask that you are blessed for your care and kindness. It is a view into your personal divinity.

THANK YOU!

Amazing Recovery

2008-01-06T10:51:00.000-08:00

Why do "bad" things happen?

I feel very strongly that there are four distinct reasons why "bad" things happen. Some are natural and some are divine. Some are a little of both.

1. We make "bad" choices and have to live with the consequences. For example: A person drinks and drives and crashes their car into a telephone pole. They become paralyzed from the waist down and total the car. The accident is a consequence of your personal choice to drink and drive. There are natural laws about objects moving and meeting other objects with force etc...that this choice puts into motion and usually these natural laws cannot be broken.

2. Other people make "bad" choices and it affects our lives. For example: A person drinks and drives and crashes their car into your car. You become paralyzed from the waist down and it totals your car. The accident is a consequence of someone else's personal choice to drink and drive. There are natural laws about objects moving and meeting other objects with force etc...that this choice puts into motion and usually cannot these natural laws cannot be broken.

3. We live in a "fallen" world. A world where our bodies age, acquire illness, and die. It is a natural law. Human bodies are subject to natural laws. Our cells die and do not replace themselves. Our cells mutate and create cancer.

4. There are certain divine lessons to learn from this trial.

I don't think to act as God and determine which is which. A person may learn during their life the purpose of such things. People come to terms with things in their own reasons and in their own times. But this is something particularly important as I cope with my long term illness of bipolar. I believe my illness to be a mixture of genetics (natural law), environment during my formative years (psychological behavior), and for me to learn a small handful of divine lessons. Maybe God took the opportunity to teach me something knowing that this was part of my inevitability and part of the natural laws that would affect me. I don't believe that natural laws and divinity are separate and must be divorced from one another. I believe that God is the author of the natural laws. That they have a synergy. A human being is not just physicial and not just spiritual. What is physical is affected by the spiritual and what is spiritual is affected by the physical. That is why finding the balance is such a journey.

I am trying to remember these things as I cope with Paul's illness and its possible ramifications.

Ireland Postponed

2008-01-03T16:25:00.001-08:00

Although I wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year I have spent the holidays a little bummed out. My long awaited trip to Ireland has been postponed until early Spring, I fear. My fiance Paul has been getting increasingly sick until he was admitted to the hospital in Coleraine on December 26th. So many infections it is amazing he was alive. Infections in his lungs, kidneys, bladder, and prostate. The infection in his lungs and kidneys has cleared up well, but the rest is still being worked on as we speak. He is still in the hospital. There may be long term ramifications of all of this. We don't know all of it yet. He will need to get home from the hospital and start the rehabilitation process before we consider when I will actually go to Ireland. If you are so inclined, please offer some prayers for my honey. We need them in respect to his remaining illnesses.

On a positive note, the United States government approved our application for his Fiance Visa. Now he has to get well so that he can go for an interview and pick up the Visa. He will be free to come over here to get married. I don't know the time frame restrictions on the Visa, but I am certain that I will learn. As of right now we are looking at a late fall/early winter wedding.

I hope that you all had wonderful holidays and enjoyed time with your family and friends.

Too Warm This Year - "Fall Canceled?"

2007-12-02T19:43:00.001-08:00

Happy December all! Our unseasonable non-fall weather has ended. It only took until December. It is cold and raining and we in Maryland need it dramatically. There is a river that is gone. It is a brook or less; a dribble. It is startling. Anyone who follows our current presidency and their take on "global warming" is a moron. When I can see 95% of a riverbed that is more often 20-40 feet deep I am concerned.

It was almost 70 degrees on Thanksgiving in Washington D.C., well above normal. There is a great article in The Onion, the satirical newspaper, that ran the other day. For all of their satire I think that they may be frighteningly correct. “Fall Canceled after 3 Billion Seasons”: Fall, the long-running series of shorter days and cooler nights, was canceled earlier this week after nearly 3 billion seasons on Earth, sources reported Tuesday.

The classic period of the year, which once occupied a coveted slot between summer and winter, will be replaced by new, stifling humidity levels, near-constant sunshine and almost no precipitation for months.

'As much as we’d like to see it stay, fall will not be returning for another season,’ National Weather Service president John Hayes announced during a muggy press conference Nov. 6. ‘Fall had a great run, but sadly, times have changed.’ ... The cancellation was not without its share of warning signs. In recent years, fall had been reduced from three months to a meager two-week stint, and its scheduled start time had been pushed back later and later each year.”

Gobble, Gobble, Gobble

2007-11-22T14:26:00.001-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving to all. I am grateful for many things. My family. A warm home to live in. A good job. Actually, two good jobs. Kind and wonderful friends. A faith that gives me so much inside including peace, a sense of wholeness, and the room to grow. A handsome, fun, and amazing man who I love and who loves me. A new passport. A plane ticket to Ireland on December 25th.

I recently was asked to teach the 11 year old kids Sunday School. We are going through the New Testament. I recently taught the young single adults and the situation is so different. I have 5 boys and 2 girls. The girls act like little adults and the boys like little boys. I taught my first class on the Stephen who became a martyr. It went a ton better than I thought.

I hope that all is good where you are.
Don't forget to keep in touch with me.

Just call me Darth Vader

2007-09-22T07:02:00.001-07:00

I officially have obstructive sleep apnea. Apnea literally means "without breath" in Latin. So, sleep apnea is sleep without breath. It is a common disorder that can be serious. In sleep apnea, my breathing stops or gets very shallow. Each pause in breathing typically lasts 10 to 20 seconds or more. These pauses can occur 20 to 30 times or more an hour. I was diagnosed with moderate sleep apnea. I stop breathing 56 times an hour! It is a little unnerving to think that I was so sick and never knew it. Read on and see how dangerous it is. I had so many symptoms of sleep apnea and was relating them all to other conditions which I was seeking medical help for! A pill for this and a pill for that. Sorry, I am feeling a little irritated by whole American Health Care experience right now. Everything from being a hostage in my doctor's office while he/she runs an hour behind to paying disgustingly high insurance rates/co-pays for health/prescription coverage. But that is another blog for another day.

During sleep the muscles in the back of my throat relax. These muscles support the soft palate, the triangular piece of tissue hanging from the soft palate (uvula), tonsils and tongue. When my muscles relax, my airway narrows or closes as I breathe in, and breathing momentarily cuts off. This lowers the level of oxygen in my blood. My brain senses this inability to breath and briefly rouses me from my sleep so that I can reopen my airway. This awakening is usually so brief that I don't even remember it.

I awaken with a transient shortness of breath that corrects itself quickly, within one or two deep breaths, although this is rare. This pattern can repeat itself all night long. These disruptions impair my ability to reach those desired deep, restful phases of sleep, and I feel sleepy during my waking hours especially in the morning. I was not aware that my sleep was interrupted. In fact, thought that I slept well all night.

I cannot believe so many people have sleep apnea. Doctors estimate that more than 12 million Americans have sleep apnea. It hits mostly men, people who are overweight, or over 40 years old, but it can affect anyone at any age. It is really hard to realize if you have it. Or, it was for me. Even though I don't remember waking up during the night, I fight serious morning sleepiness, irritability, and fatigue. I experience morning headaches which I characterized as migraines and went to my general physician for migraine medicine.

My doctor referred me to a sleep disorder center. In the hospital where I work we have a lovely new Sleep Lab. The test that they do to confirm the sleep apnea is called Nocturnal polysomnography. During this test, I was hooked up to equipment that monitors my heart, lung and brain activity, breathing patterns, arm and leg movements, and blood oxygen levels while I slept. Because treatments for other sleep disorders such as narcolepsy and insomnia differ, this test helps the doctor to arrive at an accurate diagnosis. It was really weird to try to sleep while hooked up to monitors on my legs, chest, and head/scalp. I think that it ended up being 12-15 electrodes hooked up to me total. Plus they video tape you while you are sleeping.

Complications abound with sleep apnea and may include Cardiovascular problems. Sudden drops in blood oxygen levels that occur during sleep apnea increase blood pressure and strain the cardiovascular system. About half of people with sleep apnea develop high blood pressure (hypertension), which raises the risk of heart failure and stroke. Bizarrely enough my blood pressure has been increasing in the last year to a rate that was a concern to me. The more severe the obstructive sleep apnea, the greater the risk for high blood pressure. A study published in November 2005 in the New England Journal of Medicine reported that obstructive sleep apnea greatly increases the risk of stroke, regardless of whether a person has high blood pressure. However, effectively treating obstructive sleep apnea can lower blood pressure and the risk of other cardiovascular diseases. Another problem it leads to is daytime fatigue. The repeated awakenings associated with sleep apnea make normal, restorative sleep impossible. People with sleep apnea often experience severe daytime drowsiness, fatigue and irritability. I thought that my medicines for my bipolar drugged me to the point that I wasn't able to wake in the mornings. I often drive to work in a dangerously fatigued state not understanding how I was so tired after 8 hours of sleep or more.

People with obstructive also complain of memory problems, morning headaches (my migraines that have started up after over a decade of not having them), mood swings or feelings of depression (duh, bipolar). Gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD) may be more prevalent in people with sleep apnea. I have had GERD since I was 21!

So, now I have a CPAP machine to help me breath in the night. CPAP means Continuous Positive Airway Pressure. This device delivers air pressure through a mask placed over my nose while I sleep. With CPAP (SEE-pap), the air pressure is somewhat greater than that of the surrounding air, and is just enough to keep my upper airway passages open, preventing apnea and snoring. So, like our villainous foe in Star Wars, I sleep with a mask on my face and an apparatus on my head to keep it in place. There is that slightly distinctive breathing with a mask on sound. It isn't bulky or loud but I still do feel like I am a little bit assimilated. Resistance is futile.

As I am still trying to adapt to the concept, I put the mask on at night and start to fall asleep. When I am almost to sleep where I can't remember anything, I apparently have been flinging the thing off of my head. I can vaguely recall doing it, but not why. Weird but true. I have yet to wear it an entire night. I don't think I have worn it for half of a night yet. But my Dad and my doctor swear that once you get adjusted to the CPAP it will change my life. Gosh I hope so.

I Met Hannbal Lecter Today...

2007-08-30T15:43:00.000-07:00

I attended a "Lunch & Learn" today at the hospital called, "Silence, Stigma & Mental Illness". In the flyers there was a spin on Silence of the Lambs for the program. I was interested in this topic because I deal with bipolar on a daily basis and during my time living in Utah I encountered so much ignorance about mental illness it infuriated me.

The primary newspaper in Salt Lake City did a survey about perception of mental illness and 36% of respondents believed that mental illness was a result of sin. Are you kidding me? Then I went to my family ward bishop me during a particularly difficult time during my illness which I believe I was struggling with due to the passing of my grandmother, an attempted burglary of my apartment while I was in it, and a break in of my car. When I shared my difficulties and my illness with him looking for insightful spiritual guidance he expressed that I would be happier if I just attended church more frequently, said my prayers more fervently, read my scriptures longer etc ad nauseum. Are you kidding me?

When we arrived at the lunch & learn they had free pizza and fava beans. If you don't know why the fava beans are so funny, I can't help you. After we all sat down they lowered the lights and two gentlemen wheeled in a man on a moving dolly wearing a straight jacket and a mouth restraint just like Anthony Hopkins in the movie. Then introduced himself as Dr. Hannibal Lecter. Creepy and funny. The presenter was the medical director of the hospital's behavioral health (psychiatric) department, Dr. Dennis Kutzer. He had a marvelous sense of humor and got away with a lot of anecdotes that most hospital associates would never get away with. He had some amazing information to share. He used the Hannibal Lecter idea to over emphasize that there are so many bad perceptions out there especially that people with mental illness are dangerous.

One of the first things that he stated was that he suffered from depression and that 2 of his children suffer from depression. Then he started sharing the statistics. 26% of Americans suffer from one or more 'mental illness'. That is 1 in 4 people. He informed us about so many things. It was really good. Making a point that mental illness is disease. The term mental illness is a misnomer because it makes it sound like the illness is 'all in your mind' like it isn't a physical disease. He said that it isn't in your mind its in your brain and the brain is a tangible working organ of the body and one of the most important ones at that. I wish I had been able to write everything down and share it. If I can recall more...more will follow.

Coping Better, Working, and Feeling Wanted

2007-08-28T16:29:00.001-07:00

I am coping better with Paul having gone back to Ireland. It was a rough week last week emotionally. I had an interesting little event happen yesterday at work. Work is going well. Lots of it to do. I don't know if many people know what I do. I am the administrative assistant to the Director of Supply Chain Management & Security at Carroll Hospital Center. It is a good job for many reasons. My bosses agree that I do my job well, they appreciate me, and show it. I got as phone call from one of the other departments; The Learning Center. It was a fellow administrative assistant for that department. She told me that the other administrative assistant had just given her two week notice and she asked me if I would please apply for her position. I told her that I was very grateful that she thought of me and asked me, but that I was very very happy where I was.

Of course I went in to my boss and let him know that I was offered a position in another department. He slightly banged his hands on his desk and said, "I knew it. I knew they were going to start coming after you." He hung his head in this particulary dramatic way for him (he is a cool, calm, logical person 99.9% of the time). "They see the work you do and they know how beneficial you would be to their departments." I smiled. It feels good to be wanted. I reassured him that I wasn't going anywhere and there wasn't another department in the hospital that I wanted to work for.

Sunshine Left and so did Paul

2007-08-20T17:14:00.000-07:00

Well, the rains came, the sunshine left, and so did Paul. He flew home to Northern Ireland on Sunday, August 19th. He arrived safely in Belfast on Monday morning August 20th, but without his luggage again. This is hard. Worse than I could have imagined. Every morning we sat and ate breakfast together. He would send me off with kisses and hugs. Geez. I guess I will get off of here and stop boring all...