Planning the cruise for 40 Part 2

My organized planning to enjoy a southern Caribbean cruise with my best friend for my 40^th birthday was in full swing in the winter of 2012-2013.  We had put our down payment on the cruise at the end of November.  The next step of the plan was to take our tax return money and pay off the cruise in the early spring.  We then began sorting through the dozens of shore excursions to see what we wanted to explore.

First and foremost I am that person who goes and goes and goes on vacation because I have to see as much as humanly possible just in case I never get to that part of the world again in my life.  I am that person who should plan a vacation after my vacation because I don’t really rest and relax on vacation. 

Selecting the shore excursions has been a lot of fun for both Jamie and I.  We took advantage of having a port of call in Puerto Rico and our cruise goes to the following intriguing destinations:  St. Croix, US Virgin Islands; Philipsburg, St. Marten; St. John’s, Antigua; Castries, St. Lucia; and Bridgetown, Barbados.  That’s five countries in five days.  I find that so cool.  Too bad we don’t get a passport stamp in each country.  Plus, St. Marten is owned by both France and the Netherlands; its two countries in one island, so technically six countries will be visited.

The shore excursions booklet is full of great adventures.  I made Jamie aware of one key fact.  Hiking is not a vacation for me.  I do not count down the days until I take a hike.  It’s just the plain truth.  So, I wanted her to keep that in mind as we selected our excursions.  Swimming, snorkeling, walking, touring, riding and sailing are all acceptable 40^th birthday activities, but I’m not paying someone to arrange for me to take a hike (pun not intended but funny).  In addition, as my boss likes to say, “I only run if I’m chased.”  I never liked running.  Even in my youth when I was much thinner, more active, and interested in playing a sport.  I played JV Field Hockey in high school and was in the position of Sweeper because it is the last line of defense before the goalie and you stay pretty close to the goal with minimal running.

Jamie asked up front for us to go to one particular shore excursion as it is something she has always wanted to do.  She wants to swim with sting rays in Antigua.  I’m all for it.  What’s interesting is people in my life are giving me warning because the Crocodile Hunter was killed by a sting ray barb to the heart.  I wonder if these people really know me.  If I won’t hike, the likelihood of me doing something dangerous is slim to none.  I do not like pain in any form and I am not going to do something knowing it may cause pain or death.  Thrill seeking is not my thing.  I like roller coasters, that’s it for me.

Cruise Planning Part 1

I love to celebrate my birthday.  It’s just plain fun.  I know many people agonize over turning 40.  As it is inevitable should an individual be alive that long, I am inclined to make the most of the situation.  While I have noticed some changes as this approached like the hot flashes, needing a new eye glass prescription, mild memory blips, and a few more aches and pains than before, I made the decision to put some things into place that makes it impossible to dread it and makes me absolutely enthused for the time to come. Take into consideration that in the autumn of 2012 I begin thinking and planning for this momentous occasion.  I can’t help but be a little anal about preparation for such an important event.

For me traveling is a lovely thing.  After living in Maryland from the age of a few months to 19 years with just some minor travel in the United States I have always been eager to see new places and do different things.  Traveling is a wonderful treat for me.  Knowing that I wanted to see some place I had never been, maybe even some place “exotic”, without having to fork out almost a thousand dollars in airfare I started talking to people who travel often.  I met a man from Puerto Rico who had lots of good things to say about his home.  Then a co-worker traveled there for vacation and gushed about how wonderful it was.  I was initially looking at an all-inclusive resort in Puerto Rico.

Then in November 2012 my best friend Jamie and I were discussing my intended 40^th birthday trip when she decided that she wanted to go with me on this trip.  As comfortable as I am with traveling alone, it is always better with company.  Then to have the kind of company that a best friend provides is a whole new level of fun and exciting.  Jamie’s suggestion was not to go to one location to an all-inclusive resort, but to broaden our horizon and take a cruise.  Brilliant!  See and do more with the same amount of time!  How could I say no?

I was excitedly checking out cruise lines and cruises that set sail from Puerto Rico which I had intended to see on my trip.  I honestly wasn’t interested in Carnival as I heard too much about it that wasn’t all that positive even before the “poop cruise” incident earlier this year.  I found out that Royal Caribbean has a lot of cruises that leave from Puerto Rico and that they have a solid reputation in the cruise industry for good deals on excellent products and services. 

I found the cruise I was most interested in and informed Jamie about the Royal Caribbean Southern Caribbean Cruise with prices with a starting cost of only $499!  One year to the day we would arrive in Puerto Rico we put our down payment on the cruise.  The long term planning began in earnest.

A Mormon Woman, the News, and Fairy Tales

This is a viewpoint combining two things that have bothered me in the last year.  These thoughts and topics have been stewing in my mind.  I am a Latter-day Saint (Mormon) woman.  This post is from that view point.  It is also about trust issues with our American news media outlets.  I have recently expressed concerns about the news media lacking for actual solid news, but having lots of drama and spin.  Taking facts and making fiction.  This is a huge glaring very personal example to me.

Mr. Romney's presidential campaign put a bright white hot light on my faith for quite some time. So, while some people may perceive my views as more traditional and write off what I am about to say, you couldn't be further from the truth.  I'm not a traditional Mormon.  I wasn't raised Mormon, that came later.  I am not a Republican, but that's a strained discussion for another time. Most of my family when I was growing up were Democrats.  I was raised in a distinctly low income bracket where we relied on government services to survive for things like food and shelter.  I was the daughter of a single mother until I was almost 12.  I had an absentee drug and alcohol addicted biological father.  I believe that without trying my mother and other important female figures in my life were feminists for their times.  The woman as a strong figure was an important part of my upbringing.  So, again, I repeat, I am not a traditional Mormon.  I am not married and never have been.  I have never had any children and I am a career woman so to speak.  Not a traditional Mormon, but a Mormon nonetheless.  Taking all of that non-traditional-ness into consideration please read my words and digest them for what they are worth.

I had problems with a newspaper article that peeved me.  The article that really set me off is from the New York Times, which I often like to read online.    It is about women wearing slacks or pants to church.  Here is the link to the article - http://www.nytimes.com/2012/12/20/us/19mormon.html?_r=1&

I was angry and frustrated when I read it.  I know I shouldn't let it make me angry, but that is who I am - I am an emotional responder and I'm being honest when I say I was angry. Let's dissect that article because I have many a bone to pick with this one. 

First, the death threats thing was like screen worthy drama.  This is one of those, "Really?  Are you kidding me? Who believes this sh, uh stuff?" moments.  I wondered if they could make Mormons seem more weird if they tried.  I've gone to so many different Mormon congregations in different states and even in different countries that I really can't count them all.  I've seen women dress in many types of clothes, even clothes I thought were a little to revealing for church, but never a death threat.  Although when I could see that 17 year old girl's underwear through her dress I did want to smack her on the back side of her head and say, "Could you look more like hooker at church?"  I'm from the school of thought that if you are messed up in any other part of your life the least you can do when you go to church is show some respect.  I mean you took the time to go to church in the first place, at least pretend to be good for that hour or more.  Anyways, I think this article was total B.S. and I don't mean the college degree.  Told you, not a traditional Mormon.

Second, when it says, "Others said they could not participate because they were fearful of ridicule or reprimand."  Again screen worthy drama.  Where are these people?  I want to know what congregations they attend so that I can tell someone to straighten this out.  This is not normal "Mormon" behavior to ridicule or reprimand unless you are 17 and the dress is totally like a hooker dress.  Again, could they make Mormons seem more weird?

Third, the comment, "Organizers hope the dialogue will now expand to include issues like the ordination of women, or women taking on more responsibilities at church events."  Holy Priesthood Batman!  These women don't need ordination to be whole.  How have they missed this?  For fear of my message getting lost in this one piece of doctrinal deep water, let me express this as simply as possible.  The Latter-Day Saint woman is whole and glorious in the sight of God without being ordained.  If I am whole in the sight of God without it, why would I want it?  For personal, selfish, or self-aggrandizing desires. Not for good or God.

I must express my strong feelings on the part of the quote about women taking on more responsibilities at church events.  Are you kidding me?  Does the person who wrote this do ANY research before spouting this nonsense?  What congregation are these women attending, because a congregation where men take on more of the responsibilities at church events is perfectly fine with me, but I doubt that it exists.  In the congregations I have attended all over the U.S. and Europe women do a minimum of a third to half of the responsibilities at church events.  Depending on the event sometimes women perform 100% of the responsibilities.

Fourth, the statement, "They also cited the pronounced role of the Boy Scouts in the church — boys routinely become troop leaders in the organization, but girls have no similar outlet with the Girl Scouts."  Duh, if you want to put your daughters in Girl Scouts, do it.  No one is stopping you.  In addition, there are activities and programs geared specifically for young women called the Personal Progress program.  It is based on LDS doctrinal beliefs and is structured with developing leadership, goal setting and achievement for the young women only.  There is also the young women camping activity every summer.  Obtaining the Young Womanhood Recognition is the equivalent of the Boy Scout Eagle Scout award within the church.  I received mine at 17 and I knew I was special for this unique achievement.  So, again my response is, "Did this guy do any research at all?"

Fifth and this is my most anger-worthy sentence from the whole dang article, "the fact that young men are expected to go on two-year missions to spread the faith, but young women are not. The result: the vast majority of Mormon missionaries are men."  I served an honorable mission for my church.  I knew at the ripe old age of 16 this is what I wanted for myself.  At no point in time in the 5 years between 16 and 21 did anyone ever discourage me from wanting to serve or from going.  If anything it was the reverse.  I was encouraged.  Yes, young men are ‘strongly’ encouraged to go, but not one person is stopping the young women.  After last year's announcement lowering the age for women to go from 21 to 19 more and more young women have started submitting papers and begun serving missions turning that male female ratio to almost 50/50.  Get outta here with this junk.

Those recently expressed concerns about the news media lacking for news?  Well, doesn't this just say it all?  This is not a reporter of information; it is a writer telling a fictional story.  And just think if this is what they say about Mormons, what are they spewing about people of other faiths, other lifestyles, other societies, or other cultures? 

Lest you think I am condemning the New York Times, fear not I’m not a conservative picking on a liberal newspaper.  That would require me to be conservative, which I am not.  I’m a moderate looking left and looking right and seeing nothing but polarization and fairy-tales.  You cannot trust the American news media to give you the cold hard facts.  They expect others to look through glasses with a prescription so wrong that you can never see clear reality or find intelligent objectivity.  To heck with that.  Not this Mormon woman.

The Year of 40

I've always loved the ancient Greek aphorism "Know Thyself.” I've learned it, like any other piece of language, has many meanings.  It’s a warning on boastfulness or about being more humble, about not allowing what others think to manipulate how you perceive yourself, an admonition to those entering sacred places to understand their standing in relation to deity, a recommendation about being more temperate, even an explanation that by knowing more about one’s self one can know more about others and the world around them.

I’ve decided that 40 is about knowing myself better.  It’s interesting to me that I am more fascinated by it than afraid of it.  I know that it can be an impetus in a life for good or bad.  Often you hear about the mid-life crisis of those who lose their minds, divorce their spouses of many years, get sports cars, lose weight, and marry people young enough to be their own children.  I’m not sure what a mid-life crisis looks like (yet) and I’m glad for it.  I like living the unusual life. 

For me this last year has been about stopping, marking the time, and trying to see what it means.  My Mom teased me earlier this year, “Ha, ha you’re turning 40.”  To which I answered, “Ha, ha you’re the mother of a 40 year old.”

One of the first things I’ve decided is I’m an adult now.  You are allowed to laugh at that.  I’m single without the responsibility of a spouse or children and that makes a big difference in life expectations.  I’m taking advantage of being an adult these days.  Went to lunch at a restaurant and when I was done eating my cake and I hadn't eaten all of the icing I was told, “You have to eat your icing.”  My response was, “No I don’t.  I’m a grown up and I don’t have to eat what I don’t want to eat.”  I’m not sure who put these arbitrary rules in place, but darn it, if I don’t want to eat the icing, I’m not going to.  I will live with the repercussions of that action because that is what adults do.  I can do what I want when I want, but will have to live with the repercussions of those choices.  Maybe 40 is being prepared to do some things I don’t really want to do, because I don’t want to live with the repercussions.  40 could also be about the wisdom of knowing when to fight a battle and when to choose not to fight a battle.   

I have already seen some of the physical changes.  What’s fascinating is that I thought to myself, “Hey, it won’t necessarily happen to me.”  HA!  I’m not sure if it was naivete  wishful thinking, denial or a combination of all three, but I was mistaken.  I want to make sure it isn't perceived as complaining, although I do my share.  I’m quizzical, want to take it apart and see it from all of the different angles.  Find my fit in this new era of my life.

I started peri-menopause.  I’m pretty open about it because it is a natural part of a human woman’s life and shouldn't be considered an uncomfortable secret.  It happens.  Deal with it.  I needed a new prescription for my eye glasses for the first time in almost 3 years.  I started having the memory blips.  I became particularly upset when things I used to remember vividly were not so readily recalled any longer.  Some of those details, particularly from my youth are starting to slip away. 

My most recent physical sign of approaching 40 has been an increase in my aches and pains.  Due to a previous injury and surgery my right knee can tell the weather better than the combined wisdom of every forecaster on the Weather Channel.

I know with absolute certainty that 40 is a time of change for the mind and body.  It may be a gateway to better perception and is only that which I make it. It is learning when to fight and when to concede.  Right now 40 is taking the time to know myself.